The Scars that shape us

A once poor little boy, now a grown man, who has abandonment issues and trust issues with regards to women. A once poor little boy, now a grown man, who struggled with fidelity all his adult life or even the offering of a mutual respect for his partners.

This poor little boy as a child had mother who was an alcoholic. Daily she would leave her children in the care of a baby sitter, poor little boys female abuser.

His life was beginning to be paved. Through primary, the poor little boy was in class when the topic of sex came up. Poor little boy, confused over the word sex curiously asked " what is that? " With the class erupting into laughter, a fellow student yelled jesterly "when a penis goes into a girls private place"

Poor little boys teacher over heard the banter and as she was about to shut the subject down, poor little boy confessed so obliviously

"oh I've done that heaps of times at home." Poor little boy whose teacher over heard him, disregarded the confession and reactively sent poor little boy to the thinking corner as punishment.

Poor little boy.

Poor little boy went onto intermediate and then on to college. Poor little boy, now a teen, was expelled for forcing himself on to a fellow female student. But this poor little boy who was raped and molested many times over many years, several years earlier, didn't know the behaviour was wrong.

Poor little boy thought this was normal.

Poor little boy, now a teen, whose mother, the women who chose to go drinking over her kids, and who had placed poor little boy into the care of his female abuser many years early ....now throws teen boy onto the streets because of what he done and was expelled from College for.

Once a poor little boy, now a homeless teenager, lived it rough a few nights on the streets, breaking into houses and stealing food till finally he found compassion from his older sister who invited him to live with her.

"I got you bro, I'll look after you, I love you, you can come live with me"

Elated by the love he had just been shown, this once poor little boy, now teen, breathed such a sigh of relief and oozed a sense of euphoria now couldn't wait to start an amazing new life with his "cool sister”

The very next day "cool sister" retracted her offer to live with her citing the reason is because she has met a guy. "Cool sister" then walks away leaving once poor little boy, now homeless teen boy, alone and on the streets where he spends his next few years and eventually gives in to the attraction of drugs and alcohol.

You see every women who this poor little boy trusted and whom should have protected him, this poor dear little boy, had abused him or neglected him and then abandoned him in his time of need.

His trust in people that you would trust normally..

gone...

respect for the women in his life..... gone ...

The early exposure to those sexual behaviours and acts engrained on our poor little boy, now created the idea of a misguided sense of worthiness, specialness, a sense of being wanted and loved which carried on into his adulthood because the real once little boy, now a grown adult, has low self worth, he is hurting, feels abandoned and worthless and the act of sex makes him feel like a man, makes him feel wanted and disguises the broken confused and lonely poor little boy he has been feeling like most his life..